This is OUR story

It's so difficult to keep from jealousy. To keep from wondering what we've been doing wrong, what we can do different spiritually or physically to change our situation. To keep from getting depressed by others' successes and joys in the areas where you want so desparately to share in the achievement.

Surfer (nickname I'm going to use for my dear hubby for the remainder of the blog) and I were discussing this yesterday, after an intensely strugglesome morning. He had such great perspective, and reminded me of Aslan in the Chronicles of Narnia - when the children would ask him about what would happen to this other child or person, Aslan would always stop and say, "But I'm telling you YOUR story."

Right now, this part of our story is dark and painful. I believe that God has a way of allowing our hearts to be broken but not crushed, so that we can truly have compassion on those who go through the same struggles. I hope that is one result of this challenging time.

I feel like we're on "pause". Not hopeful, not devastated, just waiting. I really hate this. Surfer also said that if it weren't for this struggle, we would miss out on so much of the wonder and awe when we finally are pregnant, and hold our baby in our arms - it won't have come easy, and so we will cherish it all the more.