Yesterday started out well. We got up early and went to church, and were glad to see that Pastor was back from traveling. After service, we went up and asked him to pray for us, with special regard to this new information we have.
James 5:13-16 "Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiben. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
Pastor brought over two of the church elders, and they did anoint me with oil and pray. I am so thankful for that, and I know that God can do miracles - I hope that our struggle and then, God willing, His answers to our prayers will strengthen the faith of all those who have been faithfully praying for us.
The second part of the day goes along with a different verse.
Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."
Dear ones brought news of a friend who recently became pregnant. The news stabbed my heart. How awful am I, that such a blessing to others brings me grief? And yet, it isn't that I begrudge them their blessing. Seeing others get pregnant so easily and without even trying reminds me of just how much anguish we've been through in these past long months, and are still going through, and have no idea when all this will come to an end - and don't even know what that end will be.
Last night ended in absolute sorrow; I don't think I've ever wept from my soul so. The pain was almost as if someone had died - that raw, naked, overwhelming ache. I wish I could end this entry today on a happy note, but I don't feel happy. All I can say is that we prayed from the depths of our souls last night, and I woke up and prayed today.
Sometimes, God allows peace beyond understanding immediately when we pray, and sometimes He doesn't. But I know that he hears our prayers, and he has collected gallons of our tears, and there is still a tiny part of me that hopes that those tears will water the "tree of life" that will be this heart-longing fulfilled.
Psalm 42:5 "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment