Any second now...

Over the course of our treatment, I have been so impressed with not only the quality of care from Doc and the nurses, but also the kindness and concern they show us. From the front desk receptionist, to the financial counselor; the cycle coordinator, to the woman who does the blood draws - everyone treats you with such warmth!

It's odd; and so I began to think that there must be a motive for all this niceness - a nasty facade underneath the cheery veneer. And then the truth hit me like a ton of bricks: they are dealing with women struggling for infertility, aka, time bombs waiting to explode!

As Surfer can tell you, there have been many a day when the sky is blue, the birds are chirping, I don't have a care in the world - and then, in a flash, I tumble headlong into the depths of despair. Crying, sobbing, the world turns grey and we spend the rest of the day clawing our way out of the hole (because I have a wonderful husband who doesn't let me claw out myself but jumps down in the hole with me to help me out). I am constantly teetering on the edge of sanity.

If a couple is seeking treatment at an infertility clinic, it is a given that they are, most likely, at the end of their rope - emotionally, financially, even physically - a wonderful place to start. Add in invasive testing (can we say "vaginal ultrasounds" and "semen analysis"), frustrating results, long-term treatments, and sketchy possibilities for success and you get a couple just barely keeping on the land side of the cliff.

Oh, but then the real fun begins! Take an unstable, scared, frustrated, desperate woman and give her hormones! Then, after a few days, give her needles and more hormones! Tell her to give herself shots three times a day, and hope for the best results - that the IVF cycle comes to a completion without being cancelled - let alone resulting in a healthy pregnancy. Somewhere in the middle of that, remind her to write a huge check to pay for all this fun and excitement and try - just try not to make her jump completely off the edge!!!

Of course, this is all tongue-in-cheek, but you get my meaning. I am sure that the staff of our clinic are all truly kind and do want the best for all their patients. But still, each time one of them gives me a smile, and says (very slowly and deliberately), "It's so nice to meeeetttt yoooouuuu!," I'll know that deep down inside, they're hoping and praying that they are not the one who sets off the ticking time bomb...